Friday, August 15, 2008
Will a man rob God?
T-Dot knows.Yes he will.
T-Dot, our caped crusader, voted most likely to be the first to take down a politician, nabbed this gem about a church employee who lifted one hand up to God and had the other in collection plate. The communion creep had $2,500 stashed in the crib! She writes:
Evan Berger, 18, of 152 Newell St., a salaried parish sexton — whose duties include maintenance as well as helping to coordinate Sunday collections — was arrested Aug. 7 on a felony charge of larceny over $500, said Capt. Stephen Lynch. Berger is free on his own recognizance pending action by the attorney general’s office, according to Lynch, who said a felony screening is scheduled for Aug. 28.But the headline is pretty vanilla. "West Warwick church worker accused of stealing from collection plate."
Wack.
Surely, our readers can do better than that. Have at it.
Go! continue...
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How about: "Church worker forgets that donations go into collection plate, not taken out of it"??
"Church worker accused of theft may reach the slammer, not the pearly gates"
"Judas is Alive and Ups the Ante"
"Judas Betrays Jesus...Again"
"Man Barters Soul for $500"
"Sinful Wages: Church Sexton Saves Collection Money, not Souls"
"Can I get a Witness?!...Collection Theft Leaves Church Speechless"
"Blessed Bandit Steals Money from Church"